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GUEST POST: It?s not a Business; it?s a Relationship

No red flags were waved, no sirens were sounded, and no one pulled me aside to sit me down and warn me. The day I answered God?s call to full time youth ministry I really had no clue what I was getting myself into. I?ll admit?if someone had warned me about the struggles of youth ministry I probably would have run the other direction. It?s been over ten years and I love what I do, but it?s come with many lessons not taught in any seminary class or youth ministry seminar.

I remember the first big lessons I learned in youth ministry. I had been serving as a volunteer Youth Director for a church in North Jersey for three years when everything came crashing down. I had turned ministry into a business and soon found myself stepping down from my position. Not because I wanted to, but because I was asked to stepped down.

During my three years as their youth director I accomplished some amazing things. Notice the key word; ?I.? I was able to organize and prepare winter retreats, summer camps, and many other events. I was able to stand before a group of students and speak. I was able to lead my adult volunteer staff and persuade them to follow me. But what I wasn?t doing was allowing God to lead the team of adult volunteers or plan the right events. I wasn?t allowing God to speak to the students by allowing Him to speak through me. I wasn?t allowing God to train and teach me what I needed to know about youth ministry by deepening my own faith. Everything I did was centered on what I wanted to see happen. My view of youth ministry was based on what I saw in magazines, websites and the occasional youth ministry conference where entertainment was the focal point of the weekend. Bottom-line?I ran the youth ministry like a business. I operated the same way in ministry as I did in my secular job (I was customer business rep for a nation wide copy center).

It was spring and I was neck deep in planning the 30Hour Famine. A few days went by and I continued with my agenda, planning the upcoming 30Hour Famine. Then one night my roommate and youth leader at the time knocked on my door. ?Can I talk to you?,? he asked. ?We need to talk about this coming weekend and the 30Hour Famine.? Once again my all business attitude took over as I assumed he wanted to discuss the details of the weekend. So I went into self-centered mode and began to share my thoughts and ideas as well as how awesome (fun) the weekend will be with the many things ?I? had planned. In the nicest way he could, he cut me off with these words; ?Brian, the Pastor and the leadership has decided you won?t be involved in the 30Hour Famine. Pastor will be stopping by to speak with you. I?m just here to get any information you have about the event so the leadership team can make a decision whether to cancel or postpone the event.?

I was so wrapped up with my own agenda and my own way because I was a ?big shot youth director? I totally missed what I had done. As a result of my pride and self-centeredness the pastor asked me to step down as the youth director for an undetermined amount of time. ?Ministry is about your relationship with Christ. I?m afraid you haven?t grasped what that truly means. Ministry is not meant to be run like a business,? pastor stated.

My heart was broken as I realized what I had done. That night after meeting with Pastor I spent what seemed like hours on my bedroom floor crying out to God asking for forgiveness, asking for restoration, and seeking the Holy Spirit for answers. That night I realized the truth, but I had put planning and organizing ahead of relationships; relationships with people and my relationship with Jesus.

There?s more to this story, but for the sake of editing and size I?ve shortened it. The point is nothing you do in ministry will ever be more important than your relationship with Jesus. Focus on growing deep in your own faith, not running a business. Youth ministry is not about you.

Brian Ford is the TIMS Program Director at The Christian Retreat Center. Follow his blog right over here.

simplyinsider.com

Brand New: Girls Ministry from Start to Finish

We have a brand new start to finish resource we’d love to share with you: Girls Ministry from Start to Finish. Here’s what it’s covers:

Each week, you look at the girls in your church, and you dream about the opportunity to make a bigger impact in their lives. You envision a team of women coming alongside you, investing their time and talents to help teenage girls discover how beautiful and valuable they truly are. You imagine groups of girls gathering to talk about their life experiences and offering support and encouragement to one another. You picture moms and daughters experiencing healed relationships and new beginnings.

It?s just a dream?for now. But you can turn that dream into reality with the tools, tips, and training you?ll find in Girls Ministry from Start To Finish.

This resource is divided into two parts.

Part 1: The Strategy Who will lead your girls ministry? How will you structure it? How will it benefit your church? What impact can you have on the girls in your congregation and community? This section takes you from ?big picture? thinking all the way to hitting the ground running.

Part 2: The Tools and Resources This includes stuff that will save you tons of times: event ideas, sample Bible studies, and suggestions for curriculum. Use them as-is or customize them for your ministry. They?re all yours. We?ve also tossed in some extra training resources on the challenges facing girls in today?s [...]

simplykurt.com

Random Randomness

- After spending the better part of 3 days with middle school youth workers at SYMC, I am (once again) convinced that many of the sharpest minds in youth ministry are found in middle school ministry!

- At a conference like SYMC (or YS or any other large gathering of youth workers) you meet lots and lots of people. It’s always such a great reminder to me that God uses an amazingly vast array of people to pour into students. I’m so thankful that the stereotypical youth worker (young, cool, plays guitar, surfs, rides skateboards, has a tattoo….) is no longer the “norm”.

- We are starting a 3-week series this weekend called “STUFF”. We are using household stuff as object lessons to teach a biblical truth. It’s a series we have done once before with great success. This week’s lesson: Take Out The Trash!

- Quite a few people tracked me down at the conference to ask me about regional campuses (basically church plants that are still part of the mother ship). Questions about how we structure etc. My simple answer: “Treat them like a franchise with freedom” They are a franchise in that there are certainly some things that they have to do in line with the main campus because they are the same church. But there shouldn’t be an overly large amount of control…they need freedom to tweak the ministry to their context.

- Dear Denver Broncos, Please get rid of Brandon Marshall.

- Dear senate and house leadership, Please either sign [...]

collegeministrythoughts.com

Training Leaders?In Africa

Jeff Atherstone is a friend of mine from seminary. We also worked together for a few years at Cornerstone – he was the pastor of student ministries in one of our church plants. Cool and very sharp guy.

A few years ago he left the ministry at Cornerstone and went out to Uganda to be a part of training leaders there. Church leaders. Pastors. There is a video here that has some very interesting statistics that honestly kind of surprised me. But in this video Jeff articulated a vision for what they are doing. He sees the big picture and is trying to get people behind it. He has been challenged by some questions by pastors of churches in Uganda:

Do I feed the orphans in the church or my own children? Do I pay for the widow?s hospital bills or do I take my own wife to the hospital? How can I find something to teach when I have never been taught?

Deep and penetrating questions. I wanted to post this video for three main reasons:

1. There are so many ministries world-wide that nobody has a clue about. Are you exposing your college students to new ones? If not, please consider doing so. They can and will get behind these types of things.
2. I believe in what Jeff is doing. He’s meeting a need that is not being met. He became aware of the need, and is seeking to meet it. Are you finding unique needs and helping those in your ministry meet unmet needs? Maybe even use this video as an illustration of seeking needs where you are…or, just watch it and be exposed to someone doing something for the furthering of the gospel.
3. I appreciate Jeff’s heart for protecting the gospel message. Sometimes we focus more on protecting or building a program. The truth is we ought to only be concerned about protecting and furthering the gospel message.

Anyway, watch and enjoy this short 2 minute video….it’s very well done.

youthmissionsinsider.com

Something from the fundraising seminar

SYMC is a wrap. A couple people asked about our sample timeline for big event fundraising stuff. Here it is. My usually witty commentary, and simultaneous harassing of Andy, will have to wait for tonight. I am beat.

Sample Schedule:

Fall Event ? Yard Clean up for church and others

Sports stadium venue (running concessions)

2 Christmas events (Parents Night Out, and a vendor-based Christmas bazaar)

January missions appeal to the congregation, including direct support letters

Valentines night out

Sports stadium venue

Pre-selling bags of mulch, and/or installing it

Spring Auction

marriedtoayouthpastor.com

It Really was a Stretch?

simplyurbanministry.com

Soul Food! If you love yourself, feed yourself!!!