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GUEST POST: Graceful Failures

No leader enjoys the notion of failure. In the split categories of good and evil, failure is considered evil, success is considered good. Just thinking about certain failures in my own life brings back emotions that stir the depths of my being. Why? Because failure in front of those we live, play, and work with is embarrassing. It just plain hurts.

But we all fail. And some of us are persistent failures. It happens, it is how humans learn, and how we deal with it makes all the difference.

A while back I was not a Youth Director, but rather, I was a Youth Ministry Assistant. In gradations of youth ministry scales, that is just above an intern, and just below a director. You?re supposed to know a few things about youth ministry because you?ve already been an intern and now you are set loose to discover freedom with a few oodles of responsibility.

Upon being hired and oriented, I was given the reigns to a very important ministry in the youth group: the Friday night outreach program. The youth director told me that I had the freedom to brainstorm, propose, and implement the program with hopes that I would be successful in creating a space that community youth would like to come. The guidelines were that it would involve food, music, fun, and some form of evangelism.

Given freedom, I was terrified. When someone is in charge of you and gives you orders, you can always blame the orders or the one giving the orders for failure. Freedom changes that. I had to take responsibility for what would be implemented and I would be making a culture all by myself. In charge of the programs destiny, I began to worry. What if my ideas were not received well?

I tossed and turned during the nights, and wrote up drafts and proposals for the program and presented what I had come up with. It was very practical. We had been moving into a new building with a gym, a game room with pool tables and ping pong, and we had a stage in a gathering area with a nice sound board. So I decided that each week I would bring in a local band. We would start the night off with a big game in the gym that would bring everyone together, and those who didn?t want to listen to the band could hang out in the game room. It seemed simple, and so I presented the whole shebang with schedule from band load in to sound check to a quick devotion and the night would end. The presentation was well received and I was given the go.

And I was terrified.

As I thought through my simple plan I realized that there were many moving parts. (1) I had to bring a team of volunteers along to get used to a new building and a new program culture. (2) I would have to email and call and MySpace about 15 bands in order to fill in every Friday night for a season. (3) I would need a sound tech to work with several servant oriented people to help get the bands in and ready. (4) Amidst the hubbub, I would be giving a short devotion, a reflection, or a scripture verse. And (5) I would have to build relationships as the host to all the students coming through the doors and ensure that they were connected to each other and to leaders in a positive way. Lastly (6) I would have to get the gym game up and running. Oh, and I forgot to mention (7) I would be self conscious of my evaluation from my director.

Thinking through all the moving parts made me more nervous than ever, and as the first date got closer I became somewhat paralyzed. There was a point while I was searching for bands, in which I did not know if I wanted to move forward. I knew I would, but I wasn?t sure I wanted to. But I thought about how I felt and the notion of failure continued to weigh on me.

In passing with my director I decided to let him know how I felt. I told him that there was a lot to get going and I wasn?t sure of the excellence of everything that needed to come together. Time was going by and not all the t?s were crossed, nor all the i?s dotted.

I?ll always remember how he responded. He said, ?Don?t be afraid to fail.? It was simple. He told me that I was allowed to try, and if it failed, then it failed. What was I going to do? Permission to fail! I couldn?t believe it. Suddenly I felt much better. Being a perfectionist that often falls short of my own expectations, I realized that the possibility of failure should not stop someone from doing something that needs to be done. So I went ahead and booted up the program.

After four years with spits and spurts of growth pains, and with the perspective and help of a new Youth Pastor to work with midstream, I would say that the program got to where I wanted it to be. But it took many failures and people still believing in me to get it right. In the end, students were getting connected, leaders were doing relationship evangelism, student leaders had developed, I scrapped the band every night idea (allowing it to be special when a band did come) and added video games and music from an iPod set list, and the gym games continued to be popular. The program grew, and new elements added either failed or succeeded. Even after leaving, that program continues to minister to students.

If only I had listened to Christ?s words on the Mount:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at [...]

simplyinsider.com

Brand New: Girls Ministry from Start to Finish

We have a brand new start to finish resource we’d love to share with you: Girls Ministry from Start to Finish. Here’s what it’s covers:

Each week, you look at the girls in your church, and you dream about the opportunity to make a bigger impact in their lives. You envision a team of women coming alongside you, investing their time and talents to help teenage girls discover how beautiful and valuable they truly are. You imagine groups of girls gathering to talk about their life experiences and offering support and encouragement to one another. You picture moms and daughters experiencing healed relationships and new beginnings.

It?s just a dream?for now. But you can turn that dream into reality with the tools, tips, and training you?ll find in Girls Ministry from Start To Finish.

This resource is divided into two parts.

Part 1: The Strategy Who will lead your girls ministry? How will you structure it? How will it benefit your church? What impact can you have on the girls in your congregation and community? This section takes you from ?big picture? thinking all the way to hitting the ground running.

Part 2: The Tools and Resources This includes stuff that will save you tons of times: event ideas, sample Bible studies, and suggestions for curriculum. Use them as-is or customize them for your ministry. They?re all yours. We?ve also tossed in some extra training resources on the challenges facing girls in today?s [...]

simplykurt.com

Random Randomness

- After spending the better part of 3 days with middle school youth workers at SYMC, I am (once again) convinced that many of the sharpest minds in youth ministry are found in middle school ministry!

- At a conference like SYMC (or YS or any other large gathering of youth workers) you meet lots and lots of people. It’s always such a great reminder to me that God uses an amazingly vast array of people to pour into students. I’m so thankful that the stereotypical youth worker (young, cool, plays guitar, surfs, rides skateboards, has a tattoo….) is no longer the “norm”.

- We are starting a 3-week series this weekend called “STUFF”. We are using household stuff as object lessons to teach a biblical truth. It’s a series we have done once before with great success. This week’s lesson: Take Out The Trash!

- Quite a few people tracked me down at the conference to ask me about regional campuses (basically church plants that are still part of the mother ship). Questions about how we structure etc. My simple answer: “Treat them like a franchise with freedom” They are a franchise in that there are certainly some things that they have to do in line with the main campus because they are the same church. But there shouldn’t be an overly large amount of control…they need freedom to tweak the ministry to their context.

- Dear Denver Broncos, Please get rid of Brandon Marshall.

- Dear senate and house leadership, Please either sign [...]

collegeministrythoughts.com

Mission Statements Causing Confusion

Every church and organization has a mission statement. And, for the most part, every ministry leader has a mission statement for their specific ministry – especially in the church. Mission statements are important because they articulate (hopefully) what we’re about, what we stand for and what we’re seeking to accomplish. These are good.

But there is something I want to point out that causes confusion. Or, at least, can. And that is church-based ministries that have a different mission statement than the church they are a part of. I see this all the time. The junior high ministry has a mission. The high school ministry will have a different one. And the church yet another one. Now, the truth is when you boil mission statements down, most churches are basically saying the same thing…just worded differently. But different mission statements in the same church?

Really?

Are we really seeking an entirely different mission? Or, are we simply seeking to move people in an age-stage toward embracing the same mission? If we’re a part of a church, I hope it’s the latter. Sure, the vision of implementing and applying that mission should be unique for age stage ministries, but it’s not a different mission! Well, at least it shouldn’t be.

Here are 3 encouragements:

1. Make sure you agree with the mission statement of the organization you serve under. If you feel like you need to change the mission statement, you probably shouldn’t be there anyway.
2. Understand that college age people long to belong in the church as a whole, not just a ministry. Having the same mission statement as the church (and helping the students we work with embrace that mission)is a very simply way we can help them feel a part of the bigger picture.
3. College ministry is an assimilation ministry where we bridge people from relational connection in the student life of our churches into relational connections in the adult life of our churches. We need all the continuity we can get in order to be effective in this. And this continuity begins with the mission statement.

youthmissionsinsider.com

I hated short-term missions?

Please check out this great article from my friend Eric Iverson. Good thoughts to consider whenever you’re taking your group on a mission trip.

Fuller Youth Institute – Youth Missions Article

What do you think? Is Eric right?

marriedtoayouthpastor.com

It Really was a Stretch?

smallchurchyouthministry.com

Now It?s My Turn?

I asked u to post ur 3 faves and 3 “not so much” aspects of the Simply Youth Ministry Conference. Now its my turn.

My three faves? 1) Not knowing (or caring) who’s who: Did u know the color of your name tag meant something? I didn’t care and neither did most other people. Sure there are always some who want to see and be seen with the right color tag but for me? Was SO good just to hang with new and old friends. Got to know some folks a lot better over a few meals. Maybe next year we should eliminate the colors and be color blind?

2) My Small Church Track Attendees: There are other people like me! Other folks who have the same joys and concerns in ministry. People who def aren’t doing it for the pay check but do it for the love of sharing the Gospel with teens. We don’t take ourselves too seriously; no cockiness or arrogance about who we are or how big our scope is. We are who we are and we can laugh at ourselves. I had SO much fun with these folks. (Hey track attendees: FB friend request me!)

3) The Inside Track Team: I love these people like my (extended) family. Its one of the gifts God gives us in the Body of Christ. They loved, served, laughed, shared, and served some more. They share all year long about the ministry of the conference. I [...]